How Anxiety is Killing Your Sex Life And What To Do About It

November 5, 2017

“Life Is Too Short To Have Bad Or No Sex.”

It is a known fact that anxiety can directly cause reduced libido and this can kill your sex life. There are many reasons as to why anxiety is killing your sex life, and here are a few common ones:

Excess focus: The process of sexual arousal is very natural and tends to occur spontaneously and subconsciously. Anxiety can create conditions which may cause processes like sexual arousal to turn less natural. The brain may increase its focus and consciousness on things around you that cause anxiety and thus emotions (sexual) may not occur naturally.

When the brain is overworked with many thoughts whirling around, physically feeling joyous things becomes quite difficult

General negative thoughts and emotions: Negative thoughts and emotions tend to act opposite to positive emotions. The sex drive is a positive emotion and anxiety is a negative one. Excess levels of stress and worries can make it almost impossible to feel the joys of life that are vital to experiencing sensations of the presence of sexual energy.

Distractions: Anxiety can be highly distracting. People usually find it very difficult to experience any kind of sexual energy when they are constantly distracted by worries and fears. The laws of attractions and occurrence of fantasies cannot be experienced when anxiety causes a person to constantly worry about personal safety and health, or of the environment around them.

Hormonal changes: Stress and anxiety can adversely affect the hormones. The exact manner in which stress disrupts the hormonal system is not known. Experts think that stress and anxiety tends to alter the composition of the hormones which are involved in sexual arousal.

Fatigue: Anxiety is an intensely exhausting condition. When anxiety reaches its highs, the person may feel fully exhausted and even depressed. Such low levels of energy can prevent people from experiencing the high energy levels which are needed for good libido and a great sex life.

Romantic stress: Refers to stress and anxiety triggered by the varied needs of a successful romantic relationships. Different kinds of troubles experienced between a couple can also be the cause of romantic stress. This may eventually reduce the level of attraction towards the partner who you were once attracted to, thereby lowering your sex drive ‘only’ towards your partner.

Below are some self-care measures that you can follow to improve your sex life:

  • If you have low libido and are near a sexual situation with your partner, then the fear of non-performance can trigger anxiety. Talking about this with your partner can help ease anxiety and subsequently enhance sexual arousal.
  • Eating a balanced healthy diet, following a CBT method to help tackle and change your core beliefs, and regular exercises can help improve physical and mental health which can boost the libido.
  • Talk to your partner about your low libido and then try and make love anyways, even if either of you are not in the mood.
  • Occasionally, just returning to the act and habit of love making can positively benefit the libido and anxiety.

The conclusion to getting you back on track is to communicate, to lessen the disgust you feel over yourself, and to take action even when you don’t feel completely up to it. Anxiety is the result of many unconscious patterns that you are not the guilty party of, so it’s not your fault, just take it one small step at a time.

Comment Below If You Feel Like Anxiety Is Killing Your Sex Life.

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7 comments on “How Anxiety is Killing Your Sex Life And What To Do About It

  1. I suffer from intimacy anxiety which means I can function sexually with strangers, one night stands and paid sex but if I try to have sex within a relationship I lose my ability to ejaculate and, more often cannot get an erection. When I was single it didn’t bother me much as there was never any conscious anticipatory anxiety so I chalked it up to being easily bored sexually so after a couple of sexual encounters with the same woman I would simply move on to another. It wasn’t until I got married that the problem became unmanageable as i wasn’t even able to consummate the marriage, I spent years going to Sex Therapists until my wife finally threw in the towel an accepted the fact our marriage would be sexless. That was almost 25 years ago. Finally one therapist suggested it was being caused by intimacy anxiety but I’m not sure how this unconscious intimacy anxiety shuts me down sexually but I have no control over it. I suggested an open marriage to my wife but she refused.

    • Hoping the contents here as well as the program helps Elco.

      • I’ve been waiting for a post like this. My partner is so patient and understanding but I feel so uninterested in sex. I work on it everyday and always reflect back on the times when my anxiety wasn’t as issue when it came to our sex life . Thanks for the article!

  2. Julie Howard Mar 5, 2019

    Anxiety disorders affect more than millions of people in the world, doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man, anxiety disorders can leave you in a lurch of confused thoughts. According to a new study, it is revealed that severe and chronic anxiety episodes can affect your pleasurable sex life in critical ways.

  3. Estela Oct 25, 2019

    I for some strange reason I associated panic attacks with sex. I had sex the day I had my first ever panic attack 6/29/18 and the doctors where asking me questions on what let up to ithe attack I kept thinking and thinking of all the things I did that day. Some how I’ve associated and have that fear so I tried again a month ago and I had an attack again.. I was like wth ???? I know sex can’t possibly cause panic attacks. I want my life back!!!