Dating Anxiety And Shyness Uncovered

January 15, 2014

how to stop dating anxiety

All of us date for different reasons. Sometimes theses reasons are unknown to our conscious mind. With application of thought and reflection, we can find out what we want from our dating partner and once we know what we want we can begin breaking down the walls of shyness.

Reasons come first to stop dating anxiety

Some of the reasons for why you want to date could be:

Every one is dating – I want to date and have a partner because everyone else is doing it.

Physical needs – I need a partner primary for my physical needs. I need a biological partner.

Companion and friend– I want a friend who will be with me through pain and pleasures of my life.

Fulfillment– I feel unfulfilled and I want to feel fulfilled. I am not able to define this vacuum but I think that a partner will do it.

Support – Someone who will support me through life and whom I will support like wise.

I want love – I need love and pampering. I never got it in my childhood. I need it badly. I want someone who will treat me gently and give me love.

Once you know precisely what you want from your dating partner your choices becomes narrowed down, which will lead to better results in the end. Knowing about our requirements always helps in in satisfying our needs.

Breaking down the walls

Many of us are shy when talking to the opposite sex. That takes us no where. Something happens that stops us from becoming that social butterfly we deep down want to be. Why do we get scared? We’re not scared of talking to people of our own sex, we are confident about ourselves in those situations for the most part and we have enough self-esteem. Then why? It is as if there is a switch in the mind that is switched off and says no when it comes to talking with people of the opposite sex.

What can be done about this? This problem has to do with our mind. Our mind tells us that we are not worthy. We may be rejected. We may be laughed at. Our mind warns us to defend ourselves from this and says no – you are not to approach anyone from the opposite sex. This is the mechanism of mind. Fight or flight. In this case, we resort to flight. But with this running away, we will never get that desirable person into our lives. We will always remain alone and only wistfully watch other couples going around. So what should we do?

The very first step in such cases is to evaluate our self and compare ourselves with our friends. Are we as smart as they are? Are we as intelligent as they are? Are we as confident as they are? Are we as presentable as they are? Is our personality equally good? On most of these issues you may find that you are scoring more points than your friends. So one thing is established. You are a desirable person. If your friends are not shy, why are you? Gather the strength and approach people of the opposite sex with confidence. Don’t worry about rejections. There can be many reasons for that. Approach smartly and you will surely see that there was nothing to fear in the first place when talking with the opposite sex.

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6 comments on “Dating Anxiety And Shyness Uncovered

  1. Great post. As someone who used to have serious anxiety about a new date, these are GREAT points you have made! 🙂

  2. I would seriously feel like the world was toppling over me, nervous wreck. Insanity! LOL

    • And things have gotten better since? Would love to know what steps you took.

      • Yes, totally. I think it was just TIME that helped me. Plus realizing not every date is going to lead to something. To just have fun and enjoy it. And breathe!

        • Wow, to just have fun and enjoy it…letting go of what people think of you, and knowing that what you think of yourself is #1. Most of us know what to do, but our society is so stuck on getting instant results that when we fail we in many ways give up but not you, great story!