5 Things You Should Know If You Love Someone With Anxiety

April 6, 2017

“Nothing Diminishes Anxiety Faster Than Action.”

Anxiety can be tough. Mentally demanding, emotionally taxing, and occasionally physically taxing, for both the sufferer and his/her partner.

Anxiety may seem and feel different to the anxiety sufferer and his/her loved one. However, there are many helpful things, as mentioned below, that you should know and remember if you love someone with anxiety.

1. Don’t try to restrain your loved one’s anxiety

Do not ask your loved one to stop being anxious. Telling sufferers that the things which they are troubled about are not a big deal, will only lead to significant escalation of their anxiety because all the anxiety causing factors are valid and real for them. Anxious people just cannot stop being anxious or just snap out of it; that takes time, a proper system, and support from their partners.

Anxiety has to be heard and won’t vanish just because you tell your loved one that the worries are unreasonable. You and your loved one should learn of ways in which he/she can effectively convey the anxiety, and you listen to it instead of just waiting out the venting period for calmness to arrive. Listening ensures faster quieting of an anxiety attack than asking your loved one to stop being anxious.

2. You are your loved one’s friend and not enemy

The loved one’s anxiety is often not about you. But you may observe that all their angst during their period of anxiety is usually taken out on you. Such outburst is not right or fair, but your loved one depends on you for support. Also, she/he (together with you) may still be learning to cope with anxiety.

If you feel that you are being unfairly targeted or being made to feel as if you are not on his/her side or his/her teammate, then talk to your loved one when they are not experiencing anxiety. Discuss and lay some ground rules about acceptable behavior during anxious moments. Your loved one does need to vent out his/her anxiety and emotions, but you should not be always the one to bear the brunt of it.

3. Keep your perspective

Maintain your perspective about the causes of your loved one’s anxiety and do not get swayed by their troubles. When listening to him/her during anxiety, lovingly share facts about the trigger. This will help reduce the power and effect of the factor(s) that triggers anxiety.

4. Do healthy activities after anxiety attacks are over

It is not possible for anxious people to get back onto daily life immediately after anxiety has subsided. For example, if you had a lunch date with your loved one before the anxiety episode, then it may not be possible for him/her to want to go out for lunch after the attack is over. This is often due to the fact that anxiety can be tiring and exhausting for the sufferer, and sometimes even for the partner.

It is best for you to do healthy activities like going for a walk in the park, slow dancing in the kitchen, etc. This will offer both of you enough time to get back into the routine of daily life.

5. Research the condition

Find out all that you can about anxiety, its symptoms, coping techniques, medications, etc. You may also check if going to a therapist is helpful or not.

The End The Anxiety Program Is A Proven CBT Based Approach To Ending Generalized Anxiety Naturally. A Great Share For Any Sufferer. 

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4 comments on “5 Things You Should Know If You Love Someone With Anxiety

  1. Joyce Apr 6, 2017

    Thanks for your post, really appreciate that! What happens when my loved one with anxiety decides to stop all forms of communication with me? Example he decides to break off a relationship with all the stress going on in his life. What can I do to help?

    • Hi Joyce. You can either give him the space to do so. Or begin educating yourself to give proper feedback and help and convince him he’s better off on this anxiety journey with you rather than without. Sometimes if you love someone the best thing to do is let go, let them find themselves, and i’m sure if it’s meant to be they’ll be back in your life soon.

      • Joyce Apr 8, 2017

        Hi Dennis, thanks for your reply. I have given him space, and have been learning to understand about anxiety more than I did in the past when we were still together. I certainly agree that if it’s meant to be he will be back in my life soon. At this point of time, I will like to educate myself and see how I can help on giving him proper feedback. Do you have recommendations on any books that I can read up on?
        Once again, thank you. It’s so comforting to read your reply 🙂