“We Call Things Into Our Lives That Are In Harmony With The Way We Feel.”
Some may think of the addiction to suffering as a silly idea. Why would anyone be a participant in the cycle of continuous inner turmoil and suffering anyway? The first step towards freedom is admitting you have a problem, and it’s not a small one by any stretch of the imagination. The addiction to suffering is heavy stuff.
If you look down the timeline of your life what do you see?
What do you feel? What are the first pieces of memory that show up? Are they good memories or bad memories? Are you happy and ecstatic over the moon or are you worrying, bewildered, and flustered in some way? Your memories play a massive role in the development of who you’ve become today. And today, you will also be faced with must resistance to the possibility of overcoming the addiction to suffering and anxiety, which I explain in this video in detail.
Many people can’t live without the addiction to suffering
They turn any optimism that shows up into a pessimistic and possibly catastrophic ending. They find the challenge in everything rather than being present and emotionally neutral in that moment. Heck, if you’re addicted to suffering you never knew there was a neutral emotional state in the first place!
In between feeling good and feeling bad lives a place of deep calmness and content
In today’s society though we’re told many times that we must be, do, or have something in order to tap into self love and acceptance. We fall for the trap consistently at every turn, rather than question the validity of those messages. Your life will improve in every which way when you can begin questioning and defying the status quo. The addiction to suffering must get replaced with the addiction to neutrality before pleasantness can arise, and CBT is one powerful way to start doing this.
To see things as they are, not worse.
Thankyou for this email posting. I am addicted to overthinking most everything in my life, I catastrophise a little sensation into the worst case scenario. I’m not comfortable unless I have something to stress over. Five years ago panic attacks, sent me to ER and depression, then health anxiety. A little twinge is death, if it’s not one sensation than I think of one I’ve had and worry about getting it again. My struggle with this is a daily game, and I’m tired of playing. I get a chest zap, or palpitation and it’s over for me, I wonder what is wrong, and seeked medical attention and then won’t go, because of now white coat syndrome. I have issues with seeing the things as they are, yes. I need reassurance a lot, I don’t want to loose my relationship over this, it’s been on the line a few times already. What makes this all happen? I enjoy your posts and pod casts truly they help, I got to the point afraid to go out, and see things or drive, or go to work. So it became debilitating, and I’m a bit better now, I drive and go to work on weekends. I even became afraid to exercise of dropping down. It cannot be possible that that would happen but that’s what I thought. My dad was having anxiety and depression me growing up, and he was always in happy and yelling. I got into an abusive relationship and had three kids, stayed home. Regret of not having my own life and getting on a career path. I missed out on things because of being 23 with 3 kids. Now two divorces under my belt, and moved to Cali from NY, while having bad anxiety for in my car and drove 2200 miles. My children went in Military and now have families. I have the time now to live my life, but came without a job and no money, so the anxiety gets in the way of me working. I was so afraid of sensations I’d have drinks, but this did not help me. I quit, I’ve always exercised but then got a huge flutter on my way back after running and stopped running. I met a great guy out here, and he try’s to help, very supportive and kind. I desperately want this cycle of anxiety and bad thoughts to stop 🛑. I miss out on sleep, and doing stuff. I’m happy to see your emails, this one this am helped me, I would like there to be a switch to just turn off the worry and anxiety. I used to her a chest zap here and there, even 9 years ago, and never stressed over it. Was for a second thought like what was that, and went on with my day. Now if I get one I cancel all my plans and stay home. This anxiety stuff, is no fun. I want to wake up and it be gone. Me not having a full time job, and being in a very tiny apartment is hard, the walls come in on me and makes my anxiety worse, so I try to go out but sometimes the dumb anxiety makes me go back home. How can we stop this cycle once and for all? If I’m feeling good, I actually then wait for something to feel bad in my body or mind. Or afraid to drive to work nd feel it in the car, I have been trying taking comfortable things with me for the ride. It’s just I need. Magic wand 🙄
To stop the cycle means to place new meanings over the things that have led up to the problem. Childhood experiences, grudges we hold, un-forgiveness, all of this can be bottled up and lead to an anxiety state of being. Much love.
Hello Dennis,
At 65, I would have NEVER used this language. Now I KNOW it is the truth. And now it isn’t hard to admit. Because I feel for the most part we are exposed to and internalize from repetition. Not every monomer in life has been bad. But now I realize that I see the world/me/people/ thru the eyes of my Anxiety that, unfortunaly what I recall most in my soul is the chaotic trmatizing crisis responses I witnessed over and over again. And part of this whole lie is the fact that many of these situations were as a result of my own mother’s addiction to suffering. I remember being a very scared little girl. Afraid of the dark, afraid off being abandoned with no help and afraid of speaking up. I also had great times. But learning how to deal with or NOT deal with conflict, or strong emotions, relationships and the world was ALAWYS a catastrophic issue. I remember my mom saying that she could not shake me off her leg until I was 6.
I went on to get married at 18. Why? So I would not have to be OUT in that world on my own. I was divorced with a baby by 20. And tthen my first panic attack came. I didn’t know what the heck it was. I was a dancer in my early teens, I played drums in a band
,( until I got married) and I went to beauty collage, graduated and got my License.
But I worked very little because I had a hard time being financially independent and on my own. I was always the one back in the breakroom hoping no one would see me.
I went on to marry more times searching for safety , and yes LOVE, security and a forever situation that would bring peace.
In my 40 year Anxiety history I’ve had 3 serious triggered meltdowns that lasted 2 years at a time. Only by some kind of
“ grace” did I make it through these cycles.
I have now learned ( through Dennis and his channel) more now than 4 years in therapy about how to understand the
the true reasons, perceptions, interpretation, if how Anxiety works.
Knowledge and understanding is powerful and painful, But our life IS WORTH IT!!!!
I am still moving forward to recovery. I can see the corridor of light coming. To resolve, reframe, forgive and step into that peace I have been searching for.
Thank you again Dennis for being here for us warriors. I send out respect and maybe just a hand to hold while you too are in recovery.
Thanks for your comment and sending much love your way.
Hi! My name is Luis and I think my anxiety comes from always looking at the negative side of things. “Addiction to suffering”, as you said. My best friends often tells me to just think positively, but it’s easier said than done. I hope your blog will help me.
Thank you!
Luis
Positive thinking will only take you as far as a slightly better feeling in most cases, but won’t allow you to tap into the answers needed to shift the cause of the problem.