One of the biggest social anxiety causes in todays world is the terrifying idea around talking to strangers. Many people along with myself during my days with an anxiety disorder, will do everything they can to avoid people they don’t know. You really can’t blame the anxiety sufferer for this either, simply because:
Familiarity equals safety, that includes familiar faces, voice tones, emotions, energy and much more.
*Enjoy the full episode at the bottom of this page.
A sensitized person finds themselves justifying their fears more and more with everyday that passes. The ‘spider web effect’ is in full force as something unthreatening becomes a potential catastrophe should the person step outside of their inner boundaries. A persons social circle gets smaller and smaller, depersonalization sets in (many times), and with that comes less trust in others. A safe but limiting way to live a life that’s meant for love and connection I’d say.
If only the person experiencing the social anxiety symptoms could understand that these strangers know nothing about you. It’s like auditioning for a movie role and you get to step out of your familiar character and become someone new! Isn’t that what we loved doing when we were kids anyway? I personally spent many days as a child thinking I was actually Superman, and that one day I’d learn to fly. That is, until I was told it was impossible, and boy did that put a stamp on my new limiting beliefs.
Your social anxiety causes are due to the pictures you entertain in your head based around what would take places should you step out of your comfort zone, and speak up.
These exchanges of information with strangers are opportunities to be who you desire to become. Unfortunately though, many people who experience such social anxiety causes see this verbal exchange as a need to please others. Rarely do they believe they are worthy of speaking about their own progress and goals. Instead, the conversation (if it actually takes place) is highly focused on others.
Social anxiety sufferers don’t allow themselves to make more mistakes. Mistakes in what they may say or do, or how they may come off as could be detrimental in their eyes. Many times this is due to seeing, hearing, or experiencing developmental trauma during childhood. These emotional signals to ‘back away from strangers’ come with insight by the subconscious mind looking to protect.
If you never engage with strangers, you’ll never experience the same amount of overwhelm and ‘freezing’ sensations you did when you were young. Says the subconscious mind to the conscious mind.
This subconscious mind loves us unconditionally. It’s kind of like an over-bearing mother doing the best she can for the safety of her children. But many times we don’t see it this way and instead berate ourselves for how ‘awkward’ or ‘stupid’ we are. We are none of those things. We are solely going through an experience here on earth called life doing the best we can with what we’ve been taught. And until we bring fun back into our lives, nothing will change.
It’s quite uplifting to people with these types of social anxiety causes to hear that no one cares, and that others are as hesitant as you. I remember as a child going to a playground and connecting with anyone and everyone. As adults though, we tippy-toe around people hoping to avoid some sort of criticism from them in the hopes of not further bruising our ego’s.
Living by the rules of your ego will only cause further social anxiety symptoms to appear.
An existence, more than living I’d say. You are an anxiety warrior, life is wonderful, so live it fully. Condition yourself rather than succumb to your core beliefs. Those voices in your head are the voices of others. The strangers you come in contact with want to connect as much as you do. Give them a chance, and more importantly give yourself a chance. Soon, you’ll find that these social anxiety symptoms you once experienced start to fade.
Step 1:
Listen to today’s full episode of The Anxiety Guy Podcast Here:
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Step 3:
Leave a comment or question in the comment section below. I’d love to hear what you got out of this podcast episode on social anxiety causes and talking to strangers.
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I found that getting into groups helped me, there are many free support groups in most areas where you can just go and “ease” into conversations at your own pace without pressure. Sometimes just being around others for a bit just helps you feel comfortable.
Thanks for your insights Stacy.