You know the feeling very well I’m sure. The constant neglect over your own needs, putting other people first and thinking up all the consequences if you ‘screw up’ around them. Welcome to the all too familiar world of people pleasing. A place where our energy gets sucked up by others who many times care about us at a level far below what we care about them.
The question is, why do you do it? What unconscious programs are leading to the behaviours around being a people pleaser? From personal experience I can tell you that for me it had everything to do with my dad. I craved more love, more attention, heck more anything from the guy. And when it wasn’t given I tried everything I could, I even became a perfectionist (unknowingly).
The people pleasing habit just grew stronger and stronger. Anyone I looked up to as an adult brought out the same cycle.
Your good friends will ask you why you do it too! They’ll also give you some decent advice, but it all seems to go through one ear and out the other. This is because the conscious mind doesn’t run your day, but the subconscious mind does. So if there’s enough pleasure associated to this habit constantly, stopping the pattern will give you the same physiological response as being close to death.
That doesn’t mean that all hope is lost though. Because if others can do it so can you, and the neuroplasticity of the brain lets us know how changeable it really is at any age. So let’s dive deep into this subject and begin altering the way we respond to the feelings within us. Because every time you respond to the feeling differently, the subconscious takes note. And with all this history of success around giving up people pleasing, comes a brand new and empowered you.
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QUESTION OF THE DAY: What was your favourite quote or lesson from this episode on how to prepare for antidepressant withdrawal? Please let me know in the comment section below.
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Thank you for confirming this message, Dennis.
I own a window cleaning business and I too have become a people pleaser. I am so happy that I have found you today. I will get help and overcome this, someday I want to share my testimonies to help. I am a warrior love ya man!
Troy Reynolds
Much love Troy, forward together my friend.