Why Sugar Coating Your Anxiety Is So Wrong

January 24, 2019

“Verbally Sugar Coating The Anxiety Challenges Someone May Be Going Through Only Prolongs The Journey.”

Let’s think of this scenario from an anxiety sufferers point of view. The sufferer is going through a challenging situation, either internally (via thinking, bodily sensations, etc) or externally (criticism, workplace stress, etc). The sufferer comes to their regular support person for help/guidance. The support person shares logical advice like ‘it’s not you it’s them’ or ‘your bodily sensations are safe.’

The Anxiety Sufferer Wants To Believe This Logical Advice, But Consciously And Subconsciously Can’t Create Any Kind Of Mental Momentum.

Eventually the heightened emotions of the sufferer dies down, the survival and emotional brains calm themselves because the threat is averted (left the environment). The sufferer (hate this word, sorry) begins internalizing the whole experience labelling and judging themselves in a negative manner.

The sufferer, at this point, goes about the next day thinking they have a fresh start. The only problem is because of the emotional intensity of the anxiety provoking event, the subconscious mind is standing guard in case a  similar situation arises.

The cycle continues, there is no conscious interference to create a proper mindset in the morning and in similar challenging environments, there are no mental, emotional, physical skill sets standing by, and faith in the sufferers ability to deal crumbles.

The Support Person Becomes The Only Hope, A Cycle Of Needing Reassurance Continues, And Life Becomes A Struggle To Get Through The Day

This is neither the sufferer nor the supporters fault. We’ll hold on, it kind of is. Reason being, a sufferer is going about their days living with similar thinking and reactive patterns they saw from mom and dad, and that they learned during childhood.

Mirroring our authority figures is greatly out of our hands during our young childhood years. And due to being told what to think and not how to think (school, parents, coaches, etc) we never stopped to think about how we and life could be any different.

Thinking Is A Foreign Concept, Remembering And Reacting Based On The Emotion Felt Has Become Habit

My advice to you for your anxiety (of any kind), is to focus on practical solutions over reassurance seeking, and re-frame your past emotionally traumatic experiences through videos like this one. The reassurance seeking may meet a human need that wasn’t fulfilled during childhood, that keeps you wanting more, but only harms your progress.

A thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion. They’re both best guesses based on the situation and previous experiences. You don’t need to fall victim to either. Sugar coating makes a persons personality even softer, more pliable for others to manipulate.

You Don’t Want To Be A Victim To Every Suggestion Others Make, Or Every Emotion You Feel, Do You?

I can only hope you answered no as far as your anxiety. If the answer is no, it’s time you began questioning your:

S – Strategy

H – Habits

I – Impulses

P – Physiology

This acronym known as SHIP is the responsibility of the Subconscious pre-programmed mind IF, and only IF, the conscious mind doesn’t step up. I can only hope I’ve opened your eyes to new possibilities today, riled you up, and created some emotion within you. A joyful and pleasant life is your birthright, you deserve all the good in the world, but nothing changes until your analytical mind starts questioning your current identity and beliefs.

Share What’s Working In Your Anxiety Recovery In The Comments Below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

11 comments on “Why Sugar Coating Your Anxiety Is So Wrong

  1. Claudia Jan 24, 2019

    This is so true. and a very good reminder, it is up to me to change my patterns. I am getting better daily, going through a rough time as I do have physical challenges I am trying to figure out. Today I can say wow! I run less and less for the panacea and strive to make positive changes through action. I am a courageous warrior! Yes it is tough and yes I struggle but damn I keep going!!
    And the journey does continue!!
    Many blessings. 💚🙏🏼💚

  2. Barbara Jan 24, 2019


    You’ve given me so many “aha” moments. For most of my life I have thought myself crazy because of my health anxiety. I know now I’m not crazy I was just molded the wrong way by my parents (unintentionally). After much thought and reflection I now see the anxiety they suffered with. I am working on reframing and I am so grateful for you. Thank you ❤️

  3. I still remember your reply to me in instagram last December about you not giving me answer to my question because i will be asking more reassurance in the future but instead you told me to look into myself deeply as to why I do this? And so far Dennis I’m doing good with my road to freedom from anxiety. My self-awarness is far more different from before, like how i view things, talk to others and myself and also my posture. This is all because of your podcasts and videos in youtube. Oh! by the way i always have with me my elastic band. Thank you dennis!

  4. Lori R. Jan 25, 2019

    Health anxiety sufferer here. The advice you gave that I use on a daily basis is: changing my “yeah but” responses to “what if” statements. Example: what if that heart palpitation isn’t a heart attack? Instead of getting caught up in that downward anxiety spiral, the “what if” thinking allows my brain to focus on something else. It has helped me so much to learn that skill.

  5. Marianne Jan 26, 2019

    Hi Dennis,

    many thanks for this interesting article. My family is really efficient at hiding emotions and it took me years to accept the fact that I have to work on myself in order to get my inner peace and have a better life but I’m slowly getting there – I hope so 🙂